Comments on: Ducklings and humans http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/2426/ducklings-and-humans/ We put the REAL back in Real Estate Mon, 28 Mar 2011 01:31:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Casey http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/2426/ducklings-and-humans/comment-page-1/#comment-667 Casey Sun, 11 Oct 2009 00:48:02 +0000 http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/?p=2426#comment-667 Cordrays feed on Johns Island had a lone duckling looking for a new home today. It seems he was beating up on the guineas so he/she needs a new home... Cordrays feed on Johns Island had a lone duckling looking for a new home today. It seems he was beating up on the guineas so he/she needs a new home…

]]> By: Trish http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/2426/ducklings-and-humans/comment-page-1/#comment-665 Trish Sat, 10 Oct 2009 19:04:40 +0000 http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/?p=2426#comment-665 I believe the real key is not in acting differently but in healing that which creates the defect in the first place. In other words, a bully is simply someone who is afraid of being worthy. Thus he pushes people around to control the outcome of his environment. If he heals the fear of his wounded self-esteem, he longer desires to be the bully. I think the actualized AA premise is that we all have character defects that cause compulsive behaviors. Healing those defects helps us live in harmony with our true selves. Unfortunately, most people have to be addicts or alcoholics to discover this wisdom. But if you really think about it, it's the same pattern for compulsive anger, spending, eating, disconnecting, withdrawling, etc. My point is that "acting" better than we truly are is one tool to help change our behavior, but if we fail to heal the underlying defects that cause such compulsive behaviors, we never really change. We simply trade one bad habit for another. The bully may act sweet but the whole time he's probably seething with new resentments because he isn't being honest with himself. At some point these new resentments will create new pain and he will explode in rage. The bully will reappear because it never got fixed, only temporarily concealed. I believe the real key is not in acting differently but in healing that which creates the defect in the first place. In other words, a bully is simply someone who is afraid of being worthy. Thus he pushes people around to control the outcome of his environment.

If he heals the fear of his wounded self-esteem, he longer desires to be the bully.

I think the actualized AA premise is that we all have character defects that cause compulsive behaviors. Healing those defects helps us live in harmony with our true selves. Unfortunately, most people have to be addicts or alcoholics to discover this wisdom. But if you really think about it, it’s the same pattern for compulsive anger, spending, eating, disconnecting, withdrawling, etc.

My point is that “acting” better than we truly are is one tool to help change our behavior, but if we fail to heal the underlying defects that cause such compulsive behaviors, we never really change. We simply trade one bad habit for another. The bully may act sweet but the whole time he’s probably seething with new resentments because he isn’t being honest with himself. At some point these new resentments will create new pain and he will explode in rage. The bully will reappear because it never got fixed, only temporarily concealed.

]]> By: Hartley http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/2426/ducklings-and-humans/comment-page-1/#comment-664 Hartley Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:49:19 +0000 http://www.thecharlestonrealestatesearch.com/?p=2426#comment-664 I take great satisfaction in improving my attitudes and [re]actions, but it doesn't feel like superiority. And doesn't Buddhism teach that we should try to overcome our "lesser" selves all the time? You just aren't supposed to feel superior to the innately good person when you accomplish that goal. I thought the whole point of working at acting better was to "become" better ~ not constantly be reminding oneself that the new is fake and the old is who we really are. AA does work that way though. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you never drink again. A lifelong hair shirt of humility. I take great satisfaction in improving my attitudes and [re]actions, but it doesn’t feel like superiority.
And doesn’t Buddhism teach that we should try to overcome our “lesser” selves all the time? You just aren’t supposed to feel superior to the innately good person when you accomplish that goal. I thought the whole point of working at acting better was to “become” better ~ not constantly be reminding oneself that the new is fake and the old is who we really are.
AA does work that way though. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, even if you never drink again. A lifelong hair shirt of humility.

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