When the Feathers Hit the Fan
February 4, 2010 – 9:21 am
Muscovy Duckings last fall. About 3/4's of these little guys fell victim to predation and Fate's natural selection. If they hadn't we'd have an entirely different problem today.
What do you do when, despite your best efforts, things fall apart?
In years past I would spend days, weeks or even months rehashing the issue. It would set up camp in my head and I would spend every available spare moment poking at it. I wanted to un-do it somehow, or at least blame someone or something for the disaster. When that didn’t work I would talk about it with others as if their condolences would give me peace. When that didn’t work I’d get angry and frustrated, curse Fate and view the world through tainted eyes, ever watchful of more bad things to come. It was an exhausting process.
Today I exercise a different approach; a path to acceptance if you will.
First I grieve for the sadness of it. After all, some things are simply sad. People lose jobs, they lose their house to the bank, they get injured, they get old….
Next I examine all of the facts and try to see my part in the process. Was there something I could have done differently to prevent this? Was I naïve or was there something I chose not to see from the beginning? Can I learn from this? Can I amend my behavior to prevent it from happening next time? If yes, then I have an opportunity to improve. If no, I only have two choices: accept it or stay stuck in chosen misery.
My choices do not diminish the sadness of things, nor fix the problem. But they allow me to continue to be productive and optimistic rather than contemptuous and bitter. And believe it or not, that attitude allows me to put things in their true perspective and move on.
Something to consider when, as my friend Joyce puts it, “the feathers hit the fan.”
5 Responses to “When the Feathers Hit the Fan”
Thanks. I can use those thoughts.
By Lorine on Feb 4, 2010
FEATHERS???
By Beth Smoak on Feb 4, 2010
Maybe they’re only seeming to fall apart. Send it back to Congress and ram it through.
By Hartley on Feb 4, 2010
I have had so many “feathers” hitting the fan in the last year, I feel like I may be ready for the roaster.
By Chris Deer on Feb 4, 2010
What do you do when someone runs into your parked car and leaves the scene? And then 4 days later your husband totals his truck? Well, you thank the good Lord that no one was injured, have a glass (or 2) of wine, and then you wait for the feathers to settle. My MIL used to shake a snow globe when she was upset. She’d say, this floating snow represent my troubles. Now I’m going to just sit here and watch them settle back down…they always do.
By lynn on Feb 4, 2010